Friday, February 27, 2015

Keepin' the Love Alive: My Tips for Re-igniting Your Marriage

Alhamdulilah I've been married for 6 years to the woman I was crazy about since I was in High School. When I did marry her, I was met with resistance from family and friends saying that I was too young--I hadn't finished college yet, had barely any money, and was still living with my mom and dad--but I wasn't going to budge. I had found the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and didn't want to waste any time making it official.

Marriages, I have learned, are not easy. (A collective "duh!" from everyone reading, I know.) A piece of advice I received recently is that marriage is a 24/7 Job. That is not a bad thing at all. It just means that it's something that always requires work and is always a work in progress. There is a deception that when you have finally snagged the person you're in love with, everything will be effortlessly perfect and easy; problems and arguments will be either small or non-existent. Every year things will get even better and perfect and lovey dovey until you leave this earth. There's theories where the only time you have real problems is if you married the "wrong" person.

The fact is even if you're with the love of your life, things won't be all sunshine and rainbows. Just like you need constant maintainence and upkeep and progression as an individual, your relationship with your significant other needs to be worked on and evaluated all the time whether you've been together a couple of years or over a decade.

Complacency is a real issue. I read about relationship complacency in articles and heard about it in movies and such and you would think, "Hey It'd never get like that with us, we're crazy about eachother!" But it can happen to ANYONE. Why? Because of life that's why. External forces can effect your relationship and at worst, can make you lose the spark or fire that you once had. Job problems, bills, having children, money issues, personal issues etc. can become such a distraction that you lose sight of your spouse. You get into a routine and get so used to it that you don't evaluate anymore. It just becomes normal. And if you describe your relationship as "normal", that's not necessarily a good thing even though it isn't bad either.

I look back on the quote/unquote "honeymoon" phase and how in the beginning when I first met my wife I was a hopeless romantic. Cute little gifts and presents and thoughtful things I'd do all the time whether long-distance or up close. For a long while that ended and I made excuses which had to do with money, with my time, with stressing about work, not being in the mood because the bills are due or I have to pay a parking ticket or something or the other. And I have learned that's the worst thing you can do.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

PhilAsify the Love Guru?

What a terrible, terrible movie.
Though I haven't blogged much during my hiatus from PhilAsify 101, I did keep up with the activity the blog had gotten over the 6 months I was inactive.

I was surprised to see that I would have on average 100 page views daily of people clicking on PhilAsify from all over the world. A modest amount sure, but for me it's pretty huge that at least 100 pairs of eyes read my blog or come across it everyday which is humbling to say the least cause I can't even get my close friends to even read a Facebook status I put up much less my blog. For strangers who don't know me to click on an article of mine they found interesting and check it out is really astonishing to me.

Also despite not having new content up during the timespan, I noticed I would get comments for my different blogposts. Most of them would be comments on what I've learned has been my most popular blog post to date: Dating In Islam: Why Muslims shouldn't date and really why you shouldn't either. Which I guess shouldn't be surprising to me because if you go into google or any search enging and type "Dating" and "Islam" together, my article will likely be on the front page of results. I'm sure it's my top viewed article because the muslim youngster go ahead and search the topic using those keywords because they're just curious to have a perspective on the matter.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

My Thoughts on the Chapel Hill Tragedy: Islamophobia Rears Its Ugly Head

The Internet was going nuts today after tragic news broke of three young Muslim students who were gunned down by a older white man over what the news glossed over as a "parking dispute". 

You can read the full story at the link below. LINK: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/chapel-hill-shooting-three-young-muslims-gunned-down-in-north-carolina-at-their-family-home-10037734.html

Police say a dispute over a parking space spurred the murder Tuesday of three North Carolina college students, but the Muslim father of two of the victims insisted Wednesday that his daughters' neighbor and alleged killer had menaced them before and was driven by hate.

Craig Stephen Hicks, 46, was charged with three counts of first-degree murder after turning himself in to police in Chapel Hill overnight. Although a Facebook page in Hicks' name that described him as a supporter of “Atheists for Equality” and blasted “radical Christians and radical Muslims" for causing strife in the world prompted rampant suspicion the crime was motivated by hate, police said Wednesday it was about a parking space at the condominium complex where the murders took place.

Those killed were Deah Shaddy Barakat, 23; his wife, Yusor Abu-Salha, 21; and her sister, Raleigh, N.C. resident Razan Abu-Salha, Chapel Hill Police said in a statement.

“It was execution-style, a bullet in every head,” the women’s father, Dr. Mohammad Abu-Salha, a psychiatrist, told the Raleigh News-Observer.
“This was not a dispute over a parking space; this was a hate crime. This man had picked on my daughter and her husband a couple of times before, and he talked with them with his gun in his belt. And they were uncomfortable with him, but they did not know he would go this far.”

Abu-Salha said his daughter, who lived next door to Hicks, wore a Muslim head scarf and told her family a week ago that she had “a hateful neighbor.”

“'Honest to God, he hates us for what we are and how we look,’” the distraught father quoted his daughter as saying.
My Thoughts:

Thursday, February 5, 2015

I'm Baaaack...

Back from an extended sabaatical once again is your favorite PhilAsifer. It's been six months since I've posted new content on PhilAsify and I can explain, if you'd just let me!

My time away from writing was a mixture of several factors:

1) My job. I've been working longer hours lately to pay the bills and it's been eating away at my free time.

2) Fatherhood. Being a dad is great and all but it's tough when you're a writer because you need peace and quiet and a block of time to get cookin' and that usually isn't going down when there is a toddler amongst needing to be entertained and put to bed.

3) I've just been in a general slump that I had to work on. I wasn't feeling productive. I wasn't managing my time. I felt I was stuck in this hamster wheel and getting nowhere. SO I needed to re-evaluate myself and my goals and start taking steps to get out of that debilliating rut I was in.

I didn't want to come back to churning out new blog posts until my mind was right. The whole point of PhilAsify 101 was to be an outlet for me to express myself creatively through my passion of writing and telling stories and sharing my observations and commentary on today. To take on such a task you have to be in the right frame of mind to do so. I wasn't, so I didn't write.

Also while I was away, I was hard at work on a screenplay. Those who know me well, know it's my dream to write for Hollywood. But that's all it was. Just a dream. Dreams just stay in a persons head and don't translate to real life until you put in work. So that's what I did. 

I buckled down and started to take the necessary steps to make this dream a reality and long story short: I've completed the first draft of my first feature film. It still needs a lot of work but I can at least revel in that accomplishment because it's a big milestone for me.

I actually told myself that I wouldnt return to blogging until I finished the first draft. Now that I have knocked it out, here I am. I'm actually kicking myself because a lot has happened in the world while I was away that I could've given my two cents on. But let's not dwell on that.

I'm back to give you your regular dose of PhilAsify. So stay tuned people because like Marshawn Lynch I'm coming at ya, and coming at ya hard (only to not be given the ball when I need it most to win the big one).